Mike and Tim are busy tarting up their quarter finalist entry in Robot Wars, 'Private Iron' whilst Daisy is preparing for yet another crack at temping, this time in modern eatery, Neo Nachos. Meanwhile, Brian gets an offer of work at a local gallery where, due to some gunshots, he's drafted in to 'do' an installation. Much chaos ensues when Daisy's job turns out to be hell on wheels, Mike's arch TA enemies set out to nobble the 'Private' and Brian's work just doesn't go to plan… But, all of the crew have tricks up their sleeves and surely, their time has come…

With a flicker and static flashes we blink blearily through the eyes of Tim and Mike's latest project. We see them tinker and perfect. Daisy has a look and voices her concern over the dangerous axe sticking out the front. Tim and Mike are more convinced, despite some hitches. Anyway, with all the pomp and splendour Mike introduces the newest member of the crew, the hardest piece of kit since Sir Killalot first… um… well, you get the idea. This is Private Iron, their entry in the cult that is… ROBOT WARS… ACTIVATE!!

Back in the Temping Office, Daisy Ann Steiner has been called in to explain why she's lost 3 jobs in as many weeks. Her agent seems to identify her problem… uhh, problems, mainly though that she has a real problem with authority. Daiz finally admits that she does have a bit of an issue, with two opposing forces jostling for power inside her. The sensible, sweet responsible side and her reckless, dangerous, leather-bound side.
Her agent warns her, she'd better shape up as she has this one more chance at Neo Nacho's in Kentish Town.
Daisy is really grateful for her agents help… really grateful…

Back in the Meteor Street lower reaches, Brian is shit-shit-shitting his own creations when the phone rings. It's Marty Berghaus from the Rheinhart Gallery. He's got no one to fill an installation because, well, his first choice, Paolo Vincenzo shot himself in the foot. Literally shot himself in the foot. Brian is a little reluctant but Marty's brashness railroads him into a kind of agreement… he launches tomorrow night…

Back at the TA centre, schools out for the weekend! Mike fights his way through the crowd to where Tim is lovingly waiting for him with the pristine Private spinning around. Hugs all round ensue but, in the distance, evil eyes in the form of Dexter and his sidekick Cromwell are watching…

In the park, Tim and Mike are taking turns controlling Private Iron's every move. Their childish humour is burst however when the flame-painted War Bastard scuttles up, with Dexter and Cromwell in control. Dexter demands to have a rematch as he feels that he was unfairly knocked out of Robot Wars by Mike and asks if he and Tim have considered his sinister offer of going 'you know where'. Mike tells him yes and no. Yes he's thought about it, no he doesn't want to fight. So that's a no…
Tim explains that all is fair in love and robot wars and he and Mike take the Private back home with Dexter, more than ever, wanting hard revenge…

Back in the upper echelons of number 23, Marsha is slagging off Amber down the phone. Well, Amber's answering machine. But her conversation is punctuated with a knock on her door.
Brian is standing there, venturing into Marsha's region to retrieve his big ol' paint roller…
He tells Marsha of his call up, and she suggests they celebrate as, unusually, she has a half-full bottle of booze somewhere… Brian politely declines although, not before his idea of a faecal focal point has been flushed down the crapper.

In the back end of Neo Nacho's, Daisy is introducing herself to her new workmates. They're... well, kinda unusual. She tries to put her stuff in a locker, but, with no key it's just 'er…' She's told by the stuttering Billy that Tina is the one who holds the keys for all the lockers. Anyway, her confusion is short lived when Tina arrives and calls a meeting. All the other employees are stricken with fear of the cold-eyed manageress but Daisy just steams in and asks about the locker keys, although her attempts are futile. The meeting is adjourned but not before Billy is dragged kicking and screaming to the horror that awaits 'downstairs'…

Back in the flat, Tim and Mike are adding the finishing touches to Private Iron for his next TV appearance. Proud of what they've done, they decide to go down the pub. As Mike nips upstairs to get his flak jacket, Daisy comes in. She's well impressed with what they've done, with the Private now bearing it's abbreviated motto, TFU (The Fuckest Uppest). While they wait for Mike's return, Tim and Daiz play Robot Wars, with Daisy taking the role of Phillipa Forrester. She compliments him on his large machine, how he's a fast worker and how, god, you can't overestimate the devastating power of a big chopper. They lean in towards each other but, just as things could get a little steamy, Mike walks in a little upset. Daisy's not sure why, but Tim explains it's because he normally gets to be Pip…

Mike takes the Private downstairs, locking his 'little one' away snug in the shed. But, unbeknownst to him, in the bushes, Dexter and Cromwell are watching and, as soon as Mike and Tim have left the area, they attack the poor defenceless robot, leaving him for dead…

Back in the Temping Office, Daisy Ann Steiner has been called in to explain why she's lost 3 jobs in as many weeks. Her agent seems to identify her problem… uhh, problems, mainly though that she has a real problem with authority. Daiz finally admits that she does have a bit of an issue, with two opposing forces jostling for power inside her. The sensible, sweet responsible side and her reckless, dangerous, leather-bound side.
Her agent warns her, she'd better shape up as she has this one more chance at Neo Nacho's in Kentish Town.
Daisy is really grateful for her agents help… really grateful…

Back in the Meteor Street lower reaches, Brian is shit-shit-shitting his own creations when the phone rings. It's Marty Berghaus from the Rheinhart Gallery. He's got no one to fill an installation because, well, his first choice, Paolo Vincenzo shot himself in the foot. Literally shot himself in the foot. Brian is a little reluctant but Marty's brashness railroads him into a kind of agreement… he launches tomorrow night…

Back at the TA centre, schools out for the weekend! Mike fights his way through the crowd to where Tim is lovingly waiting for him with the pristine Private spinning around. Hugs all round ensue but, in the distance, evil eyes in the form of Dexter and his sidekick Cromwell are watching…

In the park, Tim and Mike are taking turns controlling Private Iron's every move. Their childish humour is burst however when the flame-painted War Bastard scuttles up, with Dexter and Cromwell in control. Dexter demands to have a rematch as he feels that he was unfairly knocked out of Robot Wars by Mike and asks if he and Tim have considered his sinister offer of going 'you know where'. Mike tells him yes and no. Yes he's thought about it, no he doesn't want to fight. So that's a no…
Tim explains that all is fair in love and robot wars and he and Mike take the Private back home with Dexter, more than ever, wanting hard revenge…

Back in the upper echelons of number 23, Marsha is slagging off Amber down the phone. Well, Amber's answering machine. But her conversation is punctuated with a knock on her door.
Brian is standing there, venturing into Marsha's region to retrieve his big ol' paint roller…
He tells Marsha of his call up, and she suggests they celebrate as, unusually, she has a half-full bottle of booze somewhere… Brian politely declines although, not before his idea of a faecal focal point has been flushed down the crapper.

In the back end of Neo Nacho's, Daisy is introducing herself to her new workmates. They're... well, kinda unusual. She tries to put her stuff in a locker, but, with no key it's just 'er…' She's told by the stuttering Billy that Tina is the one who holds the keys for all the lockers. Anyway, her confusion is short lived when Tina arrives and calls a meeting. All the other employees are stricken with fear of the cold-eyed manageress but Daisy just steams in and asks about the locker keys, although her attempts are futile. The meeting is adjourned but not before Billy is dragged kicking and screaming to the horror that awaits 'downstairs'…

Back in the flat, Tim and Mike are adding the finishing touches to Private Iron for his next TV appearance. Proud of what they've done, they decide to go down the pub. As Mike nips upstairs to get his flak jacket, Daisy comes in. She's well impressed with what they've done, with the Private now bearing it's abbreviated motto, TFU (The Fuckest Uppest). While they wait for Mike's return, Tim and Daiz play Robot Wars, with Daisy taking the role of Phillipa Forrester. She compliments him on his large machine, how he's a fast worker and how, god, you can't overestimate the devastating power of a big chopper. They lean in towards each other but, just as things could get a little steamy, Mike walks in a little upset. Daisy's not sure why, but Tim explains it's because he normally gets to be Pip…

Mike takes the Private downstairs, locking his 'little one' away snug in the shed. But, unbeknownst to him, in the bushes, Dexter and Cromwell are watching and, as soon as Mike and Tim have left the area, they attack the poor defenceless robot, leaving him for dead…

Part Two

Whistling the tune to Blind Date, Mike skips his way down in the morning to see his beautiful creation. However, his mood turns to anguish when he sees what has happened.
Meanwhile, Daisy is already at work, talking with Billy about what a bitch Tina is. When Tina walks in, she's obviously a bit miffed and sends Daisy downstairs. Billy gives her some marigolds as they'll 'make it easier'. Downstairs, we see a washing up mountain and an old and wizened worker, Harris. This will be Daisy's domain for the foreseeable future.

Back at the shed, Mike shows Tim the damage to the Private. His reacition is exactly the same.
In the Rheinhart Gallery, Brian is looking around his 'area'. Marty bounds up and, despite Brian's best efforts to get out of the situation, he's left there, alone and with an empty space to fill.

With the remains of Private Iron sprayed across the kitchen table, Tim and Mike discuss who could've done such a thing. After several heavy hints, the penny finally drops with Mike that Dexter and Cromwell are the only ones with motive and opportunity. Mike, enraged decides to use every contact, pull every favour and work every hour until the robot is up and ready to fight again. And he explains, while Timmy's getting his tools, the show's over.

And so, we enter a montage of Daisy rolling up her sleeves and getting to work on the washing up, whilst Brian measures up and begins painting the town red. All the while, Mike and Tim are working hard to ready the private for action once more. Daisy appears to finish the job before Tina points out more and yet more dishes to scrub. Mike pulls a favour somewhere restricted and comes aeway swith something special for the Private.

We climax with Brian with a finished installation of red room with green phone, he backs up, unhappy with the result. He backs up and backs up, ever towards a precarious pot of paint… Tim and Mike have the Private up and running again but Daisy is still working hard in the guts of Neo Nacho's.

She emerges, some time later, brain dead from the monotony of hard menial labour but, luckily, not so much as she slips a wink to a concerned Billy. Tina however soon bursts her bubble when she demands that Daiz stays over and covers Josie who's called in sick. Daisy refuses as she is an artist, a creative talent. But, Tina explains they're all writers here… even Billy was published in '97 but he came to the kitchen in '98.

In a pub somewhere, Dexter is laughing with his cronies about how the gangs robot was nobbled. Tim and Mike show up though and spoil their fun, making sure the fucking plums know they know who tried to kill the Private. Mike lays down a challenge and soon, we're in the depths of somewhere dank and filthy. This is Robot Club….
The leader explains to us, the first rule is you don't talk about Robot Club. The second rule is you don't talk abou… no, sorry, it's no smoking. And soon, the first fight is underway, Blue Thunder versus Metallicock… ACTIVATE!!

Back in the gallery, Marsha is enjoying some vino collapso when she gets talking with Marty. They're both surprised about the power of Brian's work. It has loneliness, isolation and insecurity. It also has Brian KO'ed on the floor, a tin of green paint, spraying dulux blood onto the exhibit.

Back in the dark, the battle royale is about to start, Private Iron versus War Bastard. The battle is hard and fast, the crowd going wild with oil lust. The Private appears to have the upper hand, it's axe slashing down into the gaping jaws of the Bastard. But, as the battle nears it's conclusion, Dexter prompts Cromwell to throw a charge under the Private. With a bang, the motors are blown and War Bastard prepares for a final attack. But, with a flick of a switch, missiles slide out of the side casing of Private Iron and with a roaring explosion, the'yre declared winners over the sooty Dexter and Cromwell.

Brian wakes up to congratulations from Marty and Marsha, though he's not really sure why. He has to go to hospital, and he doesn't mean one of Mr Hirst's side projects. Back in Neo Nacho's, Daisy is still under the work kosh. Tina is barking at her to lift the bins out. She can't and snaps, calling her boss a bitch to giggles from her work mates. But, no one will stand by her until, the silent Native American gives her the boost she needs.

In a flash, we're transported down the local boozer where all the gang are meeting up after there hectic nights. It's a time for sharing news, and boy is their some to share…